Bound
by queeninferno
Summary: This is my collection of Saphael one shots, a wonderful mix of fluff & smut!
1. Bound

Simon had heard whispers of Lily Chen's return to the Hotel Dumort, the home of the New York vampire clan he now belonged to ever since the night he Turned. He hadn't liked it at first. In fact- Simon didn't leave his room for days after he said goodbye to Clary, his best friend who recently discovered she was a Shadowhunter. An ancient race of beings who were half human, half angel. The Nephilim, Simon could hear his fellow vampires whisper bitterly through the walls.

In a way, Simon didn't judge them for their hatred towards Shadowhunters. In the Shadow World, they were considered superior beings who have always treated Downworlders as lesser creatures. The Shadowhunters used their powerful angelic runes and seraph blades to intimidate Simon's kind into submission, ruling with an iron fist. But Clary was a Shadowhunter, and Simon could already see her transformation into a fearless warrior. And he knew with a painful ache in his chest, Clary was exactly where she belonged.

The only vampire who understood Simon's loyalty to Clary was Raphael, the rising leader of the New York clan. At first, it seemed Raphael hated Simon. He rolled his eyes almost every time Simon opened his mouth, and stared at Simon's graphic tees with an expression of strong distaste, but Simon would never forget how Raphael helped him during his Change. Raphael had made sure Simon fed properly, watching intently while Simon gorged himself on blood. It was horrible. The hunger ripping through Simon's body, the insatiable desire to sink his teeth into human flesh... Simon had cried out, terrified of the creature he had become.

That first night at the Dumort, Raphael had found Simon curled up on the floor, staring blindly at the gold-papered walls.

 _Red kisses of exhaustion rung Simon's glassy brown eyes, stinging with tears that would never come._

 _"You may not see it now," Raphael said gently. "But soon you'll begin to see this place as your home, tu familia."_

 _"I have a family!" Simon snapped. He sighed, running a hand roughly through his unruly curls. "Or at least I had one before I died and came back an immortal blood-sucking leech."_

 _Simon waited for a snarky reply, but Raphael kept silent. He was staring down at his hands, the muscles in his jaw working hard to conceal the words threatening to escape his lips. Raphael suddenly looked up, meeting Simon's gaze. There was a sadness about Raphael, Simon thought. A terrible grief hidden behind a cool stony facade. Simon could see it now in Raphael's dark bottomless eyes, catching a glimpse of a place in Raphael's mind Simon was both afraid of and terribly fascinated by._

 _"I don't know if I can do this," Simon whispered. "I'm not-" strong like Clary he wanted to say, but Simon swallowed down the words. "I don't think I'm cut out for this whole vampire thing."_

 _Raphael surprisingly laughed, a deep melodic laugh that teased the corners of Simon's lips into a smile._

 _"When you were human, I could barely be around you without wanting to rip your throat out. You talked too much," Raphael said with an arrogant smile Simon was all too familiar with. "But then you threw that dagger at me-_

 _"And I ruined your new jacket."_

 _Raphael gave Simon a look that instantly made him regret opening his mouth. Simon gestured for him to continue, silently praying Raphael wouldn't kill him in his sleep._

 _"I'm going to pretend you didn't just remind me. Back to what I was saying before you rudely interrupted," Raphael sighed. "When you threw that dagger, I felt it pierce just above my heart. You were brave, Simon. Annoying, but brave." Raphael laid a hand on Simon's shoulder, his fingers squeezing gently. "I know you feel your life has been taken from you, but one day you'll realize it's only just begun."_

 _Simon didn't know how to respond. Raphael had never shown him so much kindness. Something moved deep inside his chest, a nameless ache he couldn't understand. Raphael's hand lingered on his shoulder before pulling away, the loss of contact sending a sharp pang through Simon._

 _"Buenas noches, baby vampire."_

To Simon's surprise, Raphael returned to his room every night of his first week at the Dumort. During these late night visits, Raphael taught Simon more about the history of Downworlders and the Accords. He warned Simon about the fey and how they couldn't tell lies, but mastered other ways to deceive and lure mundanes into their mysterious realm. Once a mundane accepts food or drink from the land under the hill, Raphael had said with a look that made Simon shiver, they are trapped there for eternity. Simon liked to think he had an unspoken bond with the proud and dangerous leader of the New York clan. Or at least, he hoped.

* * *

Simon was approaching his third week of residency at the Dumort when the night of Lily Chen's return had finally arrived. Apparently Lily had left to take care of some personal business, but now she was on her way back home, with the title of Second Commander waiting patiently for her. From what Simon could piece together, Lily and Raphael had been close friends for decades. She was the one vampire Raphael trusted the most. The clan was throwing a party for Lily, inviting vampires from all over the tri-state area. Simon couldn't recall ever being so afraid to go to a party, but he knew better than to disrespect a friend of Raphael's. Simon also learned vampires had a reputation for throwing excellent parties, and they weren't events you wanted to miss.

Only an hour before midnight, Simon had fled to his room in a panic. Vampires partied in style, and Simon realized he had nothing in his closet except for some band shirts and a few pairs of old jeans. He swore out loud, pacing nervously from one end of the room to the other. Simon was losing all hope, preparing himself for a humiliation of epic proportions when suddenly he noticed a dress shirt and black formal pants lying neatly on the coverlet of his bed. Simon let out a giddy laugh.

The shirt was dark red, the color of wine, made of a soft shiny material that felt like silk in Simon's hands. Simon freed himself of his clothes and put on the black pants, fitting him perfectly. He slid his arms through the sleeves of the dress shirt, clumsily fastening the buttons. Simon walked over to the mirror across the room, studying his reflection with a new appreciation. The red looked striking against his olive skin, bringing out the gold specks in his dark brown eyes. Simon looked dangerous, and for the first time since he became a vampire, he liked it.

It was at that moment Simon caught sight of Raphael in his reflection, standing closely behind him. Simon flinched and let out a jumble of curse words, which seemed to amuse the older vampire even further.

"Have you ever heard of knocking?!" Simon asked, regaining his composure. "Or do you just prefer sneaking up on people and scaring the living crap out of them." Raphael chuckled darkly, the sound oddly thrilling to Simon's ears.

"You're welcome by the way." Raphael smirked, gesturing to his new swanky outfit. He studied Simon from head to toe, nodding slowly. "Honestly, this is some of my best work. You look almost halfway decent." Raphael met Simon's gaze with a crooked smile. They were still looking at each other in the mirror, Raphael's warm breath caressing the back of Simon's neck.

Simon turned around to face him. He knew when he first saw the clothes on his bed, it was Raphael. Who else would go out of their way to help Simon look his part?

"Thank you, Raphael. I mean it," Simon said softly. Raphael shrugged, inspecting his outfit once again.

"It was nothing," he replied. Typical Raphael. "You missed a button."

Raphael took a step closer, fastening the button on Simon's shirt with one hand. The closeness of him made Simon think he'd be blushing if he were still human. A mischievous smile teased the corners of Raphael's full lips, as if he could read Simon's mind. His hands reached to fix Simon's collar, their faces only inches away from each other.

"Nervous?" Raphael asked.

"What? N-No, I-"

"For the party." Raphael interrupted, rolling his eyes. "It's important you don't embarrass me. Camille was a feared and respected leader of the night children. Tonight we need to show our brethren the New York clan is still a force to be reckoned with. Under my command, we've never been stronger."

"Got it," Simon nodded.

"Which means," Raphael continued. "Less talking, more standing in corners minding your own business."

"What, no vampire puns?" Simon quipped. Raphael responded with a hard, warning look. "I'm joking!" Simon said, raising his hands in defense. Raphael sighed, shaking his head.

"I have to get ready." In a flash, Raphael was standing by the door. "Don't be late. If you are, I'll know." Raphael winked at Simon before vanishing out of sight.

* * *

Simon was nursing his second bloody cocktail, wedged between a pair of sexy twin vampires from New Jersey. They giggled incessantly at his jokes, stroking Simon's curls and suggestively flicking their tongues in his ears. Sure they were a bit weird, but Simon was having a great time. The glamorous penthouse lounge had been transformed into a nightclub. Four metal poles had been installed from the shiny black floor to the ceiling, exotic dancers slithering up and down them with vampiric speed. There was even a DJ, standing on a platform wide enough to hold a professional booth. House music poured out of the speakers and onto the checkered dance floor where vampires grinded and contorted their bodies, fangs bared. A champagne fountain was placed in the center of the room, spilling liquid gold onto the floor. Waiters with bite marks on their necks and arms never stopped circling the room with trays of drinks. There was a wild energy in the air, hot and intoxicating.

Across the room, Raphael sat on a throne carved of gold. He sure did dress to impress, sporting an expensive looking jacket with black rhinestones adorning the sleeves and tight leather pants. Rubies and other gems sparkled on each finger, collectibles from centuries past. Raphael looked like a king, legs sprawled out leisurely before him. Throughout the party, Simon watched vampires bow their heads to Raphael out of respect. There was something unnerving and terribly fascinating about Raphael in a display of such absolute power. A severity in his dark gaze, which briefly met Simon's before another vampire had come to pay homage to the leader of the New York clan.

Simon at some point after his third drink began to explain the rules of D&D to the twins, which somehow had drawn in a crowd of vampires. They were smiling at him, breaking out in hysterics as if he were a standup comedian. Simon decided to roll with it, enjoying the attention. The spiked blood in his veins made him tingle all over, erasing any anxiety. Simon was about to ask one of the twins to dance when he noticed a tall, female, Asian vampire with chin length purple hair gliding towards him. She glared at the twins who quickly abandoned their seats, moving on to find another vampire to fondle.

"You must be the fledgling," she said in a silvery voice. Simon checked out her smooth spidery legs as she eased down beside him. "I'm Lily, you might have heard of me."

"O-Oh!" Simon stuttered, caught off guard. "Of course. Isn't this your party?" Lily glanced around the room and shrugged.

"I suppose, but really this is all for Raphael. Our new king," Lily replied with a dreamy look in her eyes. Simon followed her gaze across the room. Raphael was engaged in a conversation with the leader of the Philadelphia clan, looking rather bored. "The throne suits him, doesn't it? Raphael has always been a natural born leader."

"You and him go way back, huh?" Simon asked. Lily smiled, two needle sharp fangs protruding over glossy pink lips.

"Almost fifty years." Simon tried to ignore the twinge of fear in his chest. In fifty years, his mother could very much be dead. Clary would be past middle age. Lily studied Simon curiously, leaning in close. Simon nearly choked on her sugary perfume. "Raphael speaks of you often, you know."

"Really?" Simon asked, incredulous.

"He says you're a powerful asset for us, with your close ties to the Nephilim."

"Oh," Simon said dumbly. Lily laughed, tilting her head to the side.

"I also think Raphael is rather fond of you."

"Now _that_ I don't believe," Simon scoffed. His response seemed to amuse Lily even more.

"Don't mistake criticism for judgment. Raphael has your best interests at heart. He won't let anyone touch a hair on that pretty head of yours," Lily said flirtatiously. Simon glanced over at Raphael, and was surprised to find him watching them with an unreadable expression. Simon realized Raphael had likely heard their entire conversation. Lily was tracing circles on Simon's thigh, working her way slowly up when Simon impulsively jerked away. Lily looked shocked, but quickly eased back into her careless charm. Simon snuck another glance in Raphael's direction, surprised and a little disappointed to find the throne empty.

Lily jumped back into conversation with Simon as if he never rejected her advances. She was clever, a little intimidating, but Simon soon realized she was genuinely interested in learning more about him. Raphael never asked Simon questions about his friends or family. Simon found himself enjoying Lily's company, secretly grateful there was another vampire in the Dumort he could talk to.

Suddenly out of the corner of his eye, Simon spotted two male vampires kissing passionately on the dance floor. They were completely lost in each other, ignoring the wild debauchery surrounding them. For some reason, Simon couldn't tear his eyes away from the two men. His body was fluctuating between hot and cool, tingling pleasurably all over.

"Does that shock you?" Lily asked, gesturing to the couple. Simon cleared his throat awkwardly, realizing he was staring.

"What? N-No! I'm very uh…" Simon waved his hand in a circular motion towards the two men, who were now bumping and grinding on each other. "Pro- everything!"

Lily laughed, looking at Simon in a way that made him terribly nervous all of a sudden. She leaned back, draping her slender arm over the chaise frame.

"You know," she said watching Simon tentatively. "Sexuality doesn't mean anything to us like it does for mundanes. The night children seek pleasure above anything else. It's what makes us different from other Downworlders. Why deny yourself if you want someone badly enough and they want you in return?"

Simon couldn't help but think there was some hidden intention in her words. Fortunately before he could muster up an appropriate response, a waiter had returned with their drinks. Lily clapped her hands, handing Simon another glass of fizzling red liquid.

"Honestly, I think I'm good. I've already had three of these," Simon said. He handed the drink back to the waiter, who smiled at him with glassy bloodshot eyes. Lily pouted, nudging Simon playfully.

"Nonsense! You just need to feed to soak up the booze. Daisy!" Lily called out, snapping her fingers. The girl came out of nowhere, moving towards Lily as if she were being pulled by some unyielding force. Daisy smiled at Lily, completely enamored.

"Daisy," Lily said in a voice like she was speaking to a child. "I want you to meet Simon Lewis, the newest member of our family."

Daisy's gaze shifted to Simon. She was a petite pretty girl, with big ocean blue eyes and long white-blonde hair that fell to her hips. Simon could hear her heartbeat, shockingly faint, but there was something eerily inhuman about her. She moved with the same effortless grace like a vampire, and her skin was so pale it was almost translucent. Daisy held out her hand.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you," she said sweetly. Simon reached to take her hand and blanched. There were blue and purple bruises all over her arms, bite marks scarring her porcelain flesh. Simon then realized why there was something off about Daisy. Raphael had told him about darklings, humans who consumed enough vampire blood to live in suspended animation, prolonging natural human life. They were loyal pets to the vampires they served, a walking snack machine.

"Daisy," Lily scolded. "Don't be rude."

"Silly me," Daisy smiled. She sat down on the other side of Simon, offering her wrist to him. Daisy smelled delicious, sweet and ripe. Simon swallowed hard, feeling his fangs strain against his bottom lip painfully. Part of him wanted so badly to sink his teeth into her tender flesh, but then Simon met Grace's empty gaze. She was so fragile, lovely and weak. Daisy frowned, confused by his hesitation.

Simon shot up from his seat, mumbling an apology before staggering away from the party. He stumbled into an empty hall, collapsing against the wall. The house music pounded through his body with merciless force, pouring lead into his veins. Simon surrendered to it, shutting his eyes against the image of Daisy and her pale bruised wrist. He felt the stinging pain of his nails biting hard into the palms of his hands, cutting through flesh.

"Looks like _someone_ had a little too much to drink."

Simon's eyes snapped open at the sound of Raphael's voice, who was standing before him with a smug smile.

"I'm fine," Simon answered weakly. He inhaled a breath he didn't need, slowly unclenching his fists. Simon could feel the shallow wounds already beginning to heal. Raphael studied him, frowning.

"The darklings...they bother you."

Simon wrenched his eyes away from Raphael's face, biting down on his lip hard. He was overheating, burning with rage and a fierce hunger he was afraid he couldn't control. Simon didn't know if it was the spiked blood or Daisy that was making him feel this way, but he did know Raphael standing so close to him was making it worse. _A lot worse_. Simon nearly jumped when Raphael laid a hand on his cheek, urging Simon to look at him.

"Simon," Raphael whispered. His touch was cool, gentle, silencing the deafening noise surrounding them. "They choose this life willingly."

"Somehow I don't buy that," Simon exhaled harshly. "I-It seems wrong, Raphael."

"I used to feel the same way." Raphael lightly brushed Simon's chin with his thumb before letting his hand fall to his side.

"What changed?" Simon asked shakily. Raphael smiled, a sad wistful smile that broke away the icy wall he always hid behind. Simon knew at that moment he was talking to the real Raphael, the Raphael who was once human and understood the pain of true loss.

"With time, I realized the darklings are a part of who we are. A part of the life we live. One day you will see the truth in my words. I promise you that, Simon." Raphael stared into Simon's eyes with an intensity that made him burn all over.

 _Simon felt that wild hunger again...clawing at him...fighting to break free_. Simon's body reacted on its own; his arms shooting out to pull Raphael against him, their lips crashing together in a hot furious kiss. Raphael growled, pressing Simon harder against the wall. Simon could barely articulate his thoughts. He was consumed by passion, kissing Raphael back with every fiber of his being. Simon suddenly realized the terrible hunger he was feeling was of a deeper kind. A hunger that lived in his bones. Simon cupped the back of Raphael's neck, biting into the tender flesh above his collarbone.

" _Dios_!" Raphael cried out. Simon bit deeper, drinking greedily. He could taste Raphael's power and lust, his strength and his suffering. Raphael surrendered himself, moaning in ecstasy while Simon satiated his thirst. When he was finished, Simon licked up the blood oozing from the wound, the flesh knitting itself back together within seconds. Raphael shuddered against him.

"I-I've never done that before," Simon sputtered.

"Fed from another vampire or made out with a guy?" Raphael laughed, arching one perfect eyebrow.

"Uh...both I guess." Raphael traced his fingers over Simon's red stained lips, wet with his own blood.

"But you wanted to," he whispered. Simon watched Raphael with a wicked delight lick the blood off his fingers.

"Yes," Simon answered huskily. "I still do."

Raphael's dark liquid eyes shimmered at Simon's words. Their lips met again, wanting to devour each other whole. Raphael deepened the kiss, exploring Simon's mouth with his tongue. Simon could still hear the party around them, but it had faded into a distant buzzing. He was lost in the heat of Raphael's kiss, gasping in surprise when Raphael suddenly had his arms pinned above his head. Raphael began to kiss down his jaw, licking and nipping teasingly at his neck. Simon shivered, feeling Raphael's erection press against his thigh. Simon struggled to free his arms wanting to touch him, but the older vampire's grip was too strong.

"Please," Simon whimpered. Raphael rolled his hips into Simon, the friction making the both of them pant needily. Simon was hard, very hard. He couldn't remember ever being so hard in his life. He knew Raphael could feel it throbbing, straining painfully against Simon's pants. Raphael bit down on his lip, drawing blood. Simon sucked in a harsh breath.

"Raphael, please!" The older vampire stopped moving, releasing Simon's wrists. His velvet eyes studied Simon's face, lingering on his lips.

"Please, what?" Raphael asked in a low dangerous voice. Simon swallowed hard, not believing the words that were about to leave his mouth. Lily's voice suddenly played in his head, _we are creatures of pleasure...there is no point in denying ourselves if we want someone badly enough and they want us in return_. Simon's luminous eyes darkened with desire. He wanted Raphael, so much he felt it in his blood...in his bones. Nothing else mattered.

"Take me to your room," he said breathlessly. Raphael grabbed Simon's hand and together they dashed down the hall and around another corner, bursting through the tall gold doors leading into Raphael's master bedroom.

The moment they were inside, Raphael grabbed the back of Simon's neck and crashed their lips together. Simon kissed him back hungrily, tugging off Raphael's rhinestone jacket and throwing it onto the floor. He tried to work Raphael's belt, but his fingers were shaking from excitement and nerves. Raphael chuckled, pushing Simon onto the king-sized bed. Simon lay panting, stifling a groan as Raphael straddled his waist. He met the older vampire's lustful gaze, trapping them in a primal embrace.

Raphael's hand suddenly wrapped around Simon's throat, firm and dominating. Simon hissed, baring his fangs. Raphael tightened his grip, digging his hips harder into Simon who cried out in agonizing frustration. Raphael laughed like the powerful and deadly king he was, letting go of Simon's throat which bore the red brands of his fingerprints. He hadn't hurt Simon. No, he had marked him. Simon gasped at the sound of his shirt tearing, pearl buttons flying everywhere.

"You ruined my new shirt!" he cried out. Raphael grinned mischievously.

"Let's just say, we're even now."

Simon laughed, sitting up to pull Raphael's shirt off his shoulders. Simon remembered seeing Raphael shirtless for the first time in one of their training sessions. He couldn't help himself from staring at those broad shoulders ripped with muscle, the tattoo of the Mother Mary on his glistening back, the sharp V of his torso... Even then, Simon thought Raphael was beautiful.

His eyes drifted as they always did to the gold crucifix hanging from Raphael's neck and the red burning scar it left on his chest. Impulsively, Simon leaned down and kissed it. When he heard Raphael gasp, Simon realized what he was doing and jerked away. He hesitated before meeting Raphael's eyes, expecting to find himself staring into cold stone fury, but instead Raphael drew him closer. He kissed Simon deeply, slow and passionate. Simon was amazed by how perfectly their mouths moved together. He took the moment to explore Raphael's body with his hands, feeling the slope of his spine...the fortitude of his shoulders and arms...the trail of dark hair leading from his navel to below the waistline of his leather pants.

Simon traced Raphael's jawline with his tongue, loosening his belt with steady hands. He was ready now, his aching need to be as close to Raphael as possible overpowering any hesitation. Raphael gently pressed him onto his back, the gold crucifix dangling above Simon's eyes. He began to plant kisses down Simon's neck...his chest and stomach.. not stopping till his hands were on the zipper of Simon's pants.

The sensation of Raphael taking Simon in his mouth was enough to make Simon arch his back, gripping the sheets of the bed to keep himself from writhing. Simon choked, wanting so badly to shout the name of God. Raphael ran his tongue up and down Simon's shaft, teasing the head lightly with his teeth. Simon swore loudly, digging his fingers in Raphael's short black hair. He was on the verge of an orgasm when Raphael sunk his teeth into the femoral artery below his groin. Simon cried out, cumming hard as Raphael drank slowly and licked up the blood spilling down his thigh.

Before Simon could regroup, Raphael flipped him over onto his stomach. His eyes fluttered shut from the heat of Raphael's lips on his neck, nipping the lobe of his ear. Raphael was leaning over him, his hands propped on the bed to avert crushing Simon.

"Are you sure?" Raphael whispered in his ear. Simon could feel the older vampire's hard length throbbing against him. He nodded, turning his head to kiss Raphael on the mouth. Moments later, Simon gritted his teeth as Raphael pushed inside him.

"Dios, Simon!" Raphael moaned. Simon jerked his hips back, deepening Raphael's thrust. It was hard to describe, the feeling of Raphael burying himself inside Simon...whispering his name over and over again. Simon had never felt so connected to someone, bound by pleasure and pain. For the first time since Simon became a vampire, he felt truly alive. Raphael quickened his thrusts, biting Simon's shoulder as he violently came. Simon followed shortly after crying out Raphael's name, shuddering beneath him.

Raphael kissed Simon's neck tenderly, still buried deep inside him. They stayed like that for a while, savoring the feeling of being one before Raphael slowly pulled out. He rolled onto his back, laughing. Simon lay on his side, watching the leader of the New York vampire clan break out in a fit of giggles. It was an odd sight to say the least.

"What?" Simon asked, nudging him playfully. Raphael stopped laughing and sighed, staring up at Simon with a dazed look in his eyes.

"Simon Lewis," he said. "You will be the end of me."

* * *

Simon woke up feeling a bit sore all over, but found himself sort of liking it. He yawned, rubbing his eyes roughly with the palms of his hands. He saw flashes of the night before: the sparkling champagne fountain...vampire exotic dancers sliding up and down metal poles...Lily Chen's fangs protruding over pink glossy lips...Daisy offering her sweet bruised wrist...Raphael pressing him up against a wall-

Simon sat up, taking in his surroundings. He was in a massive bedroom with black and white checkered walls, a smooth white-tiled floor with an animal hide rug Simon assumed was once a Siberian tiger. The plush bed Simon was currently occupying was deep crimson, with matching silk sheets. Laying beside him was a sleeping shirtless Raphael, and likely naked Raphael beneath the covers snaking around his waist. The realization dawned on Simon that he himself was naked. Raphael slept faced away from Simon, the sight of his broad muscular back invoking memories of the passionate night they had shared together.

Without thinking, Simon reached out and traced his fingers over Raphael's tattoo of the Mother Mary. Raphael stirred, murmuring in spanish before he awoke with a loud yawn. He rolled onto his back, meeting Simon's gaze with a lazy smile.

"Were you watching me sleep? That's a bit creepy, even for you." Simon rolled his eyes.

"Relax, I only woke up a minute ago. I was um...piecing together last night's events. I think those vampire drinks might have messed with my memory a little."

Raphael rested his hands behind his head, studying Simon's face.

"Well, what do you remember?"

"Most of it," Simon answered truthfully. He swallowed, realizing with a sharp pang in his chest he had given Raphael a part of himself he could never take back. What if this was only a one time thing, Simon wondered anxiously. Raphael could easily have other lovers, other men with way more experience than him.

Raphael frowned, clearly noticing Simon's distress. He sat up, cradling Simon's face in both hands.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked with a concern that made Simon ache all over.

"God, no!" Simon exclaimed. He gasped, realizing he had just said God aloud. A wild giggle burst from Simon's lips. "Did you hear that? I can say God! God. God-"

Raphael kissed Simon deeply, making his head spin. It was the kind of kiss Simon once dreamed about sharing with Clary, a kiss that has the power to bind your souls together. An everlasting promise. Raphael smiled against Simon's lips.

"Finally, now I know how to get you to shut up."

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. I'd love to hear your thoughts so please leave a review xx**


	2. You Betrayed Me

Hey darlings! This one shot takes place after the finale, which tore me to shreds =) Enjoy! xx

* * *

 _I'm disappointed in you._

Raphael's cruel voice played over and over again in Simon's head as he made his way slowly through East Harlem. It was drizzling outside, the glare of city lights reflecting in the pools of dirty water collecting on the streets. Simon walked in human speed, preparing himself for the confrontation he'd been dreading for almost a month. Ever since the day he went behind Raphael's back, freeing Camille so she could lead them to the Book of the White. He'd done it for Clary, to help save Jocelyn from a powerful sleeping spell.

 _Simon's betrayed us, just as Camille did._

 _Kill them._

It was hard to believe Raphael would have tried, and likely succeeded at killing Simon and Clary before Isabelle sliced the wall in half with her electrum whip, sunlight pouring in and searing Raphael's hand. The barrier between them allowed for Simon and his friends, (plus Camille), to escape with their lives. Simon would never forget how Raphael looked at him, his black marble eyes void of any emotion except for burning hatred and disgust.

For weeks, Simon tried to ignore the stab of guilt in his chest for betraying his clan. He kept himself busy, joining Clary and the other Shadowhunters on their missions to slay demons. Now that Valentine had the Mortal Cup, everyday more demons were infiltrating the city's wards. Downworlders were found dead in dark alleyways or floating lifelessly on the river, their corpses mutilated and left to rot.

One night, they had found a vampire girl dead outside of a Downworlder club. A demon had torn her throat open with its teeth, her head dangling half off her shoulders. Simon had cried, red streaks of blood staining his cheeks. At that moment, Simon finally understood why Raphael had wanted him dead. _There's no honor in betraying your own kind_.

Valentine was wrecking havoc and death upon New York from the shadows, Jace and his army of rogue Shadowhunters still untraceable. Simon could see the effect it had on the other Shadowhunters; Isabelle's charming allure fading and hardening into a warrior's fury, Alec retreating within himself, despite his growing relationship with Magnus. Simon was glad Alec had someone in his life, someone to share his pain over the loss of his _parabatai_. And of course Clary, who seemed to suffer from Jace's disappearance the most.

At first, when Simon learned Jace and Clary were brother and sister he was overcome with joy. Finally, he had a chance to win Clary's heart, the girl he'd been in love with almost his entire life. But as weeks passed by and Simon watched Clary obsess over finding Valentine, the way she would close her eyes whenever someone mentioned Jace's name, he began to realize her heart was trapped in a place he could never reach. He knew Clary dreamed of Jace at night, and not him. Clary's love for her brother hurt Simon, but he also couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She was in so much pain. They all were, shrouded in chaos and death.

Simon stood across the street from the Hotel Dumort, staring up at the expanse of black sky. He had come to solidify the alliance he shattered a month ago. Downworlders and Shadowhunters needed to fight side by side in the war soon to come, and Simon knew without the vampires they didn't stand a chance against Valentine. Simon had no choice but to beg for Raphael's forgiveness and convince him they were better off working together than fighting alone.

Simon inhaled the city air. He could smell the garbage, the factory smoke, the exotic breezes of cuisines from all over the world. This was _his_ city, and Simon would do anything to save it from turning to ash. Even if that meant returning to the one place he feared the most, and standing face to face with the man who haunted him in his dreams.

* * *

The moment Simon walked inside the decadent foyer of the Dumort, a swarm of vampires formed a blockade in front of him. They hissed at Simon, flashing their fangs. Simon fought the urge to shrink back, willing himself to stand his ground and match their steely glares with his own. He was surprised to find he didn't recognize most of the pale faces before him. It seemed Raphael had increased his ranks.

" _Lewis_ ," Simon heard a familiar voice growl. Stan stepped forward into view, his colbalt blue eyes blazing with anger. "Leave now, or I will personally tear you apart limb by limb."

"I came here to talk," Simon said quickly. Stan laughed, slowly advancing on Simon with a predatory grace. They stood only a few inches apart from each other. Simon forced himself not to break eye contact with the vampire. He couldn't afford to appear weak.

"I see," Stan smirked. "And where are your precious little Shadowhunter friends? Waiting outside in case you never come out?"

"I'm alone. They don't know I'm here," Simon answered truthfully.

He had snuck out of the Institute in the middle of the night. Simon had been staying there ever since Downworlders were being hunted down and murdered, not to mention there was a bounty on his head. Clary would have never let him go to the Dumort without her, and Simon couldn't risk putting her life at risk again.

"Why should I believe anything you say, _traitor_?" Stan snarled. Simon squared his shoulders, taking a step closer.

"I need to speak with Raphael," he said coolly. "Go check outside if you think I'm lying, unless... you're too afraid of the Shadowhunters."

Stan's mouth twisted into a cruel smile.

"Scan the perimeters," the vampire ordered. His chilling eyes hungrily raked over Simon. "I'll take you to Raphael, only to watch him gut you like a fish."

Well, at least he made it this far, Simon thought to himself as Stan and three other vampires flanked him on all sides. There was a probable chance Simon was walking to his impending doom, but he had to try. His friends, and his city depended on it.

* * *

Raphael was sprawled leisurely on a gold leather couch immersed in a book when Stan shoved Simon into the glamorous lounge of the clan leader's penthouse. His head snapped up at Simon's arrival, his expression one of surprise before his eyes narrowed to dangerous black slits.

"He just showed up on our doorstep," Stan announced gleefully. "I thought I'd bring him to you as a gift."

Raphael stood up with a deadly grace, his eyes never leaving Simon's face. He wore a satin dress shirt the color of deep violet, clinging attractively to his muscular biceps. The rest of his body was clad in black. Simon could see the gold chain of Raphael's cross peeking out from the open collar of his shirt.

"Leave us." Raphael spoke in a low, dangerous voice that made Simon shiver.

Stan hesitated, obviously not wanting to miss the action. When Raphael threw him an icy glare, he quickly fled from the room, leaving Simon alone to suffer the clan leader's wrath. The tension between them was palpable, sparking an electricity in the air.

"You're either incredibly brave or stupid showing your face here. I vote the latter," Raphael said, his eyes flashing. Simon swallowed. If he still had a pulse, he knew it would be racing as the clan leader moved slowly towards him.

"I wouldn't be here unless it was important," Simon replied, forcing his voice not to shake.

"Ah, of course." Raphael laughed darkly. "Now that Valentine Morgernstern has the Mortal Cup in his possession, the Nephilim need as much help as they can get. Let me guess...they sent you here to rectify our alliance."

"I came here on my own volition," Simon said, tilting his chin up.

"Oh?" Raphael smirked, "I guess you're not their errand boy after all."

"I was never…" Simon began to say, before remembering he was walking on _very_ thin ice here. He inhaled a breath he didn't need, trying to remain calm. "Look Raphael, Valentine is a threat to all of us."

"The Night Children are done getting involved in Shadowhunter affairs. This is not our fight," Raphael said with a familiar arrogant smile. The vampire always knew how to get under Simon's skin.

"It is your fight!" Simon snapped, rage coursing through his veins. "Valentine's been ordering demons to murder our kind-

" _Our kind_?" Raphael shot back, taking another menacing step towards Simon. "You think you're still one of us after what you did?"

"I'm sorry, Raphael. I know I betrayed the clan, but only for-

"For what?" Raphael interrupted, circling Simon slowly. "The Shadowhunter girl you've pined for your whole life, dreaming of the day when she'll finally realize she's been in love with you all this time? I hate to break it to you Simon, but you'll always stand in the shadows, watching Clary give her heart to somebody else _again and again_ until the day finally comes when you give up, letting the darkness take whatever part of your humanity is left."

Simon shut his eyes, Raphael's words piercing through him like a knife. He knew what Raphael was trying to do, daring Simon to lash out at him. But Simon didn't come here to fight with Raphael, the man who lingered in his thoughts and appeared in his dreams. Sometimes Simon dreamt he was back at the Hotel Dumort, sharing his innermost secrets and fears with Raphael in the quiet breaths before dawn _._ Raphael would look at him with a tenderness that made Simon ache all over, placing a comforting hand on his thigh... Simon drew in a shaky breath, meeting Raphael's challenging gaze.

"You're wrong. I'm not pining for Clary, but I'll always love her. She's my best friend and I would do anything to help her, just like she would do anything to help me. I know I betrayed your trust-

"You betrayed _me_!" Raphael yelled, his voice breaking. Simon's eyes widened. He had never seen Raphael like this, his cool facade shattering into pieces. "After all I've done for you! Saving your life _God_ knows how many times, welcoming you into my clan with open arms...I took care of you, fed you, taught you how to control your hunger, and you...you let my enemy walk free!"

" _Raphael…_ " Simon spoke softly, taking a step towards him before the vampire had him pinned against the wall. Raphael wrapped his hand around Simon's throat, baring his fangs.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you right now," Raphael growled, tightening his grip.

The last time they had ever been so close to each other was during one of Simon's training sessions. Simon had tried tackling Raphael to the floor, but the older vampire was too fast, slamming Simon onto his back and straddling his hips. Simon remembered staring up at Raphael's face, beautiful and so severe, like a Caravaggio angel. Raphael's eyes had darkened into bottomless pits, and Simon thought at that moment he could lose himself in those eyes forever.

"Because I know you feel it too," Simon whispered.

"What are you talking about?" Raphael asked, his hand still wrapped firmly around Simon's throat.

"You and me...there's something between us." Simon tried to keep his voice from shaking, but was failing miserably. "I didn't know what it was when I lived here, or maybe I did and was too afraid to admit it, but I-I felt things Raphael. I hate that I hurt you, but you have to understand at the time I thought I was doing the right thing. I was wrong, and I understand if you can't forgive me, but just know...not a day has gone by that I haven't missed you. You're all I think about, Raphael."

"How can I ever trust you again?" Raphael whispered, releasing Simon's throat and letting his hand fall to his side.

"Trust this." Simon said, gesturing between them. "Whatever this is, trust that what I feel for you is real. I will never betray you again, Raphael. I promise."

Raphael was silent, studying Simon's face with an intensity that made Simon fear perhaps he _would_ kill him. But then Raphael's eyes flickered to his lips, and suddenly they were kissing. Simon couldn't believe it as he pulled Raphael closer, savoring the feeling of their bodies pressed together. Raphael made a soft noise in the back of his throat, cradling Simon's face in both hands as he deepened the kiss, exploring Simon's mouth with his tongue. Simon let his hands wander over the vampire's broad shoulders and back, digging his fingers in Raphael's soft black hair. Simon had never experienced such a kiss before. All-consuming, passionate, full of fire and a desperate need to be as close to each other as possible.

Their kiss was becoming more heated, messy, teeth clashing and tongues fighting for control. Raphael pressed Simon harder against the wall, holding his hips in place. Simon groaned as Raphael trailed his sinful lips down his neck, nipping teasingly at the tender flesh. Simon couldn't think straight. This was _Raphael_ , the dangerous trickster with a knack for sarcasm and inspiring loyalty. Simon had always felt drawn to the older vampire, even when he hated him, but he'd never imagined wanting Raphael so badly. The sensation of his thick muscular body pinning him to the wall, the essence of his manly cologne, and the ardor of his devouring kiss made Simon burn with desire.

Simon tried to buck his hips, but Raphael wouldn't let him. " _Stop moving_ ," Raphael growled. Simon stifled a moan, his erection throbbing painfully in his jeans. When Raphael grinded their hips together, Simon choked, wanting to cry out the name of God. Their mouths collided hungrily, and Simon bit down on Raphael's lip hard, tasting the vampire's blood. Raphael pulled away, bringing a hand to his lips and looking at Simon with a shocked expression before his mouth curved upwards in a devilish smile. Simon took advantage of the opportunity to spin Raphael around and slam him against the wall, relishing the breathy moan that escaped the vampire's lips.

Simon loosened the belt of Raphael's pants, kissing him roughly while Raphael slid his hands down Simon's back, gripping his ass. Simon grunted, tearing Raphael's shirt open and greedily raking his eyes over his smooth muscular chest and sculpted abs. Raphael sucked in a harsh breath.

"Why must you always ruin my clothes?" He asked, failing to sound annoyed.

"If you want, you can rip my clothes off. We'll call it square," Simon replied with a cheeky smile.

Raphael chuckled, sliding his hands around Simon's thighs and picked him up off the ground. Simon wrapped his legs around the vampire's waist, kissing him fervently as Raphael carried him over to one of the gold couches. Raphael straddled Simon's hips and pulled his shirt off his shoulders, tracing his fingers slowly down his chest and stomach. Simon shuddered beneath his touch, swallowing nervously. Raphael licked his lips as his eyes wandered over Simon's prominent abs and trail of dark hair leading from his navel to below the waistline of his jeans.

"Are you sure?" Raphael asked huskily, studying Simon's face. Simon slid his hands around the vampire's waist, gazing up at him with half-lidded eyes.

"I want you, Raphael. I always have."

Raphael let out a breathy laugh, closing the space between them. They pulled at each other's clothes until they were completely bare, their eyes locking in anticipation. Simon wrapped his legs around Raphael's waist, the gold chain of the vampire's cross dangling above his eyes. Raphael leaned down, kissing Simon before pushing inside him. Simon gasped, adjusting his body to Raphael's thick girth.

"Who am I?" Raphael growled, thrusting into him.

"Raphael!" Simon moaned. The vampire thrusted deeper, and Simon couldn't help himself from crying out.

"No," Raphael grunted. "Who. Am. I?" He stopped moving, causing Simon to whimper in frustration. Simon looked into Raphael's bottomless eyes, baring his fangs.

" _Sire_ ," he hissed. Raphael grinned, burying himself inside Simon again and again until they were both shouting each other's names. They made love fiercely, unleashing all the anger, all the pain they felt from being apart for so long. When they both came, Raphael collapsed onto Simon, pressing their foreheads together.

"Don't ever leave me again. I couldn't take it," he whispered. Simon dug his fingers in Raphael's dark curls, kissing him deeply.

"I love you too," he smiled against the vampire's lips. They laid like that for a while, kissing, naked limbs entwined. Simon didn't know what the future would bring for him and Raphael, but yet again...they did have eternity.

* * *

*sighs* Saphael is so beautiful. I hope you liked it! Leave a review if you can, I'd love to hear your thoughts =)


	3. An Unexpected Guest

Hello my Saphael queens! This one shot is based off a prompt I received: _Raphael and Simon are a couple. Something happens and they break up. Simon leaves the hotel and they don't see each other for years. Magnus invites Raphael to a party (because he's been a recluse since the breakup) and Raphael goes. Turns out, it's Simon's engagement party and since no one knew they were dating, Magnus didn't think too much about it. Feelings are stirred and Simon and Raphael reconnect and Raph tries to win Simon back before he is bound to another man/woman forever._

I hope you like it =)

* * *

 _It had been seven years_.

Seven years since Simon left the Dumort for good, taking the pieces of Raphael's shattered heart with him.

The last time Raphael saw Simon was during the Mortal War. Downworld had come to the Nephilim's aid in their battle against Valentine Morgernstern and his army of demons. His daughter, Clarissa Fray, had convinced the Clave to fight alongside Downworlders by creating an Alliance rune that would temporarily allow them to share their powers. Nothing had ever been done before in the history of all the Shadow World.

Their brief reunion had taken place on the battlefield. Raphael had just killed two Ravener demons when he spotted Simon a few feet away, fighting a demon three times his size. He watched Simon leap onto its back and sink his fangs into the creature's neck, but Simon failed to notice the demon whip up its tail, which wrapped around him and threw him onto the ground. Raphael moved out of instinct, charging towards the demon that was about to rip Simon apart with its teeth. He hurled the creature off Simon with all his strength, tearing its head from its shoulders. The demon shuddered violently before exploding into dust.

Raphael would never forget how Simon looked at him; his luminous eyes wide with shock and wonder as he stood up shakily on his feet. They were both covered from head to toe in blood, ichor and dirt. For just a moment, the battle had disappeared and it was only Raphael and Simon staring at each other on a bloody field, panting and at a loss for words. Raphael opened his mouth wanting to say something, _anything_ , but instead he only gave Simon a curt nod. Simon nodded back and they both turned away, throwing themselves back into battle.

Together, the Shadowhunters and Downworlders defeated Valentine's army. The New Council was formed, with seats for one representative from each Downworld species. Naturally, Raphael was elected as the representative for the Night Children. It was a new age for the Shadow World. The Nephilim had gone from hunting down and treating Downworlders as inferiors for centuries, to respecting them as equals.

Only a few months before the war, Simon was still living at the Hotel Dumort. He was still a fledgling then, naive and full of restless energy. Simon came into Raphael's life fast and without warning, sparking Raphael's interest the moment Camille had ordered for him to be kidnapped and brought to the Dumort. Mundane Simon quickly got on Raphael's nerves with his incessant rambling and inability to sit down. But even then, Raphael found himself strangely drawn to the boy, taking notice of his full lips and the flecks of gold in his chocolate brown eyes, fringed by dark curling lashes.

When Raphael found Simon's dead body on the floor of Camille's penthouse, he was shocked by his own flood of emotions as he picked the boy off the ground, carrying him in his arms all the way to the Institute. Raphael remembered fighting the urge to brush a loose curl out of Simon's eyes, and even the stronger urge to press a light kiss onto his forehead. Raphael had developed feelings for the boy, _a human boy_ , who he barely even knew. But yet, Raphael felt he had somehow known Simon long before they met, like his soul was crying out for him.

Raphael had given Clary a choice whether to bury Simon so he could rise as a vampire, or let him die as a mundane. He had kept his cool facade in front of the Shadowhunters, but inside, Raphael was praying for Clary to choose life for Simon over death. Raphael could only imagine what kind of vampire Simon would make; strong, powerful, fierce in his love and need to protect the people he loved.

Watching Simon claw his way out of the earth, his newly grown fangs glistening in the moonlight, was the most beautiful thing Raphael had ever seen in his unnatural long life. Simon was glorious, full of thunderous rage and hunger. Raphael couldn't help but shiver beneath the severity of his gaze, those dark wild eyes fixed on Raphael with burning hatred, but also desperation.

" _You're a monster,"_ Simon had called him, and Raphael remembered flinging himself into the sun after he'd killed his friends, wanting God to scorch him from the face of the earth.

" _I'm a monster_!" Simon then cried out, his chest heaving with air he didn't need to breathe. Raphael was frightened by how much he wanted to take Simon in his arms, whisper soothing words in his ear, like how Simon wasn't a monster, he was the same person he'd always been except now he was stronger, faster, and didn't need to suffer the burdens of humanity.

Raphael took Simon into his care as if he were his own fledgling, but Simon had Camille's blood running through his veins...and no matter how hard Raphael tried to mentor Simon, he knew in the pit of his stomach he was powerless against the sire bond Camille and Simon shared, even if the fledgling didn't know it yet.

But in spite of Raphael's fears, he was falling for Simon Lewis, _hard_. He couldn't stay away from the fledgling, taking on the responsibility of training Simon, even though he had far more important matters to attend to as the leader of the New York clan. They spent hours together working on controlling Simon's enhanced senses, and Raphael even began to teach him how to fight using his new abilities. Simon was slow at first, but surprisingly caught on fast after his second week of enduring Raphael's relentless training.

Raphael would always remember the day Simon successfully dodged one of his surprise attacks, running up the wall to gain momentum before he lunged in the air, pinning Raphael beneath him.

"Not bad," Raphael smirked. Simon grinned, and Raphael could tell he was enjoying the feeling of holding one over Raphael's head.

"I know, right?" Simon giggled. "I can't believe I just beat the one and only Raphael Santiago!" In half a second, Raphael had Simon on his back.

"First rule of combat," Raphael grinned. "Never let your guard down."

Simon laughed and struggled to break free, which only made Raphael press him harder into the ground. He stopped moving suddenly, staring up at Raphael with half-lidded eyes. His face was flushed, making him look almost human. Raphael's eyes lingered over Simon's plush lips before he leaned down, closing the space between them. He was surprised when Simon kissed him back hungrily, wrapping his legs around Raphael's waist and passionately tugging on his black tufts of hair.

Raphael hadn't felt the warmth of the sun in over fifty years, but when Simon's hands roamed his body and they laid entwined kissing for hours on end, it was like Raphael was back at Long Island Beach as a boy, running in the sand with his little brothers while golden streaks of sunlight caressed his face. Simon was a flame in the darkness that had threatened to consume Raphael's soul. And when he whispered "I love you" to Raphael for the first time as they lay spent after a night of fierce lovemaking, Raphael couldn't stop the rivulets of blood spilling from his eyes and down his cheeks.

Raphael was terrified, terrified of how Simon could shatter the stone facade he had carefully built over the decades with only a bright crooked smile, and his contagious boyish laughter. Simon had kissed the bloody tears away, holding Raphael in his arms and murmuring against his skin, "it's okay, _mi amor_ , it's okay."

"Not helping," Raphael groaned, his eyes brimming red with more tears. Apparently, when you haven't had a proper good cry in almost thirty years, it was rather difficult to stop.

"Alright," Simon said with a mischievous smile. "I have an idea." Before Raphael could protest, Simon had crawled on top of him and began to tickle Raphael all over.

"S-Simon!" He shouted when the fledgling pinched his sides. Raphael was giggling uncontrollably, swearing loudly in Spanish as Simon continued to torture him without mercy.

The time they spent together was the happiest two months of Raphael's life. Simon had become not only his lover, but a trusted advisor. He acted as Raphael's conscious when he had to make difficult decisions as a leader, like who should be allowed to live and who should be punished for their crimes. In New York, there were a number of rogue vampire nests hidden around the city. It was Raphael and his clan's responsibility to either try recruiting these vampires, or put them in the ground for good if they refused to comply with the Accords. Raphael always preferred taking care of these problems as fast and quietly as possible, in fear of the Clave getting involved.

But rogue vampires and the _cazadores de sombras_ weren't the only threats Raphael and his clan faced at the time. Camille and her loyal subjugates had casted a shadow over the city, kidnapping and turning mundanes so they could join her ranks in the battle for Raphael's leadership soon to come. Raphael was growing more anxious everyday that Camille would call on Simon using their sire bond. He tried to keep Simon inside the Dumort as much as possible, fearful of Camille getting her hands on him, but Simon wouldn't heed Raphael's warnings, running off to the Institute whenever Clary and her Shadowhunter friends needed his help.

An invisible wall had begun to form between them; Raphael becoming more enraged by Simon's divided loyalty, and Simon growing more irritated with Raphael's overprotective and paranoid behavior. The night Simon left was the same night Lily and Elliott had come to Raphael with news of Camille's secret location. They were going to ambush Camille and her newly turned vampires. Raphael planned on staking the _puta_ himself, and afterwards offering what was left of her army to join his clan, or meet their ends in daylight.

But of course, as Raphael and the clan were gearing up for the fight, Simon received an urgent call from Clary saying the gang had finally learned where Valentine was keeping Jace, and they were going after him against the Clave's orders with their weapons blazing. Simon had turned around to face Raphael, while Clary babbled more about how much they desperately needed his help. Raphael felt the dangerous flames of betrayal lick his heart when he recognized the conflicting emotions in Simon's eyes.

" _Raphael_ …" Simon started towards him, but was stopped by Raphael's hand.

"Camille took away your free will, Simon. She _murdered_ you," he spat. Simon faltered under his intense gaze, casting his eyes to the floor. "As long as she's alive, she'll always have power over you. Camille will turn you into one of her slaves, is that what you want?"

"Of course not!" Simon exclaimed. "But-

"Clary calls, and like a loyal dog you come running." Raphael chuckled darkly. Simon shook his head.

" _Don't_ ," he warned. Simon's angry expression then softened, and he walked up to Raphael until they were standing only a few inches apart. "You know Clary's my best friend. I've known her my whole life, and right now she really needs my help, Raphael. You don't need me to stop Camille. I know you can take her down on your own."

Simon's eyes were pleading, begging for Raphael to understand. Raphael looked away, too overwhelmed by the painful realization that Simon was going to choose Clary over him. _Him_. He saw flashes of Simon laughing while Raphael smothered his face with kisses...the first time they drank from each other, becoming one... Simon running his fingers through Raphael's hair mindlessly as they cuddled in Central Park, watching the glittering array of stars above…

"I'll be there in ten," Simon said to Clary and hung up. He tried to meet Raphael's eyes before he gave up with a sigh, turning away and walking across the foyer.

"You walk out that door," Raphael called after him and Simon froze in place. "Don't even think about coming back."

Raphael could see the muscles in Simon's back tense, and both his fists clench at his sides. For a moment, it seemed Simon was going to turn around and face him. Raphael wanted him to, so he could see the imploring look in Raphael's eyes, begging for him to stay. But instead, Simon exhaled harshly and walked out the door.

He would never return to the Hotel Dumort again.

* * *

When Raphael saw a particular glittery warlock was calling, he rolled his eyes, swearing in Spanish under his breath as he begrudgingly answered the phone.

"Bane."

"Santiago," Magnus replied, imitating Raphael's clipped greeting.

"What do you want, warlock?" Raphael asked wearily.

"I really wish you'd stop referring to me as _warlock_ , it's not very polite."

Raphael remained silent, a clear indication he was not concerned with being polite to the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He heard Magnus sigh dramatically through the phone. Raphael could picture him perfectly, reclined on his chaise lounge while twirling a fruity cocktail in one hand.

" _Anyway_ , I'm calling to inform you I will be at the Hotel Dumort shortly to pick you up for the party."

"What party?" Raphael grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"The party I was supposed to attend with my darling dearest, but sadly our son Max has a nasty case of food poisoning so Alexander, naturally, is staying home to take care of our little blueberry. Hence why I'm calling you, _old friend_. I need a date."

"A date."

"You owe me Santiago," Magnus pressed. "Besides, when was the last time you actually went out and got properly drunk? I'm guessing knowing you it's been years which is, may I add, disturbingly unhealthy for someone your age."

" _Lo siento_ , Bane. You're going to have to find somebody else to torture with your ridiculous stories and fashion sense all night."

Magnus gasped.

"I have an _exceptional_ fashion sense, thank you, and I don't want to go with anybody else. Come on Raphael, you need to have a little fun at least once a decade."

"I have fun!" Raphael protested hotly. Magnus chuckled.

"I'm sure napping all day and spending your nights talking vampire politics is a _blast_ , but the time has finally come for you to leave your fortress and join us happy folk in the real world."

"Magnus-

"Great! You're the bestest undead friend anybody could ask for. Wear one of those snazzy suits, we're going for 'classy chic'. See you in an hour!"

Magnus hung up before Raphael could yell "no" in ten different languages. He groaned loudly, resting his head in his hands. Raphael knew Magnus was doing this out of concern. Ever since Simon tore down the walls he had worked so hard to build, capturing his heart only to rip it out from his chest months later, Raphael had become a recluse. He found comfort in the quiet, dark, labyrinthine halls of the Dumort. Sometimes, Raphael would go out onto the roof and gaze at the stars for hours. Instead of constellations, he saw his mother and _pequeño hermanos_ shimmering in the night sky.

Raphael wasn't completely alone. He had his clan, Lily and Elliott, and to his discontent...Magnus Bane. In all honesty, Raphael didn't _actually_ hate the warlock. Magnus was a friend, a superfluous overdramatic pest, but still a friend who made a point of checking in on Raphael over the years. And even though Raphael would never admit it, he was secretly grateful to have someone who cared enough to annoy him constantly.

Raphael sighed, slowly standing up from the couch he had been reading on, and made his way over to the walk-in closet inside his master bedroom. Maybe Magnus was right, Raphael thought, skimming through his rows of suit jackets organized by different shades of blacks, blues, and grays. He could probably use a night out, and three...or four drinks in his system. Maybe even five.

Raphael settled on a fitted midnight-blue suit, which outlined his broad shoulders and back in an attractive way. He styled his hair with a little gel, and even put on his favorite Armani cologne. Magnus had whistled through his teeth when he first saw Raphael, nodding approvingly as he studied Raphael's outfit from head to toe.

"I'll give you this Santiago," Magnus said. "You sure know how to dress for the occasion." Raphael rolled his eyes, already walking out the door.

"Can't say the same for you, Bane!" he called out over his shoulder, laughing as Magnus mumbled a few obscenities while jogging to catch up with him.

* * *

The party was at an industrial warehouse in Brooklyn, looking out over the sparkling river. A live band was playing indie-folk music on a platform raised above dozens of circular dining tables where people sat eating and drinking, immersed in lively conversations. It seemed Magnus had dragged Raphael to a formal event of some kind, considering how nice everyone was dressed. He was about to ask Magnus exactly _what_ kind of party they were attending, when the warlock suddenly grabbed ahold of Raphael's arm and steered him towards the bar.

"Time for drinks!" Magnus sang out. Raphael rolled his eyes, cursing in Spanish under his breath as Magnus proceeded to order them two fruity cocktails that would likely call his masculinity into question. They settled down at a table in the back. Raphael did his best ignoring the warlock's endless comments on people's choice of fashion and company. Raphael sipped his drink, which actually wasn't so bad...not that he'd ever admit it.

He leaned back in his chair, studying the cavernous room with tall windows and elevated walkways. Whoever designed this party did a rather impressive job converting a decades old abandoned warehouse into an attractive venue. In spite of his discomfort from being surrounded by so many people, most of them mundanes, Raphael found himself liking the casual yet intimate ambiance of the party. He gazed up at the hundreds of string lights dangling from the wood rafter beams on the ceiling, mesmerized. Perhaps tonight Raphael could enjoy himself a little, throw back a few drinks and join the festivities. Magnus was right about one thing, Raphael thought. It had indeed been a long time since the leader of the New York vampire clan experienced any real fun.

"Magnus!"

Raphael snapped out of his trance at the sound of a familiar, high-pitched voice. Clary Fray, Valentine Morgernstern's daughter and the Nephilim girl who stopped the Mortal War, was approaching their table with a radiant Isabelle Lightwood at her side. Raphael couldn't help but frown at the sight of her. Only a few weeks after Simon walked out of his life, Raphael had decided he would go after him and beg him to come back to the Dumort. But by then, Simon was already dating the Lightwood girl.

"Biscuit!" Magnus shot up from his chair and hugged Clary, kissing both her cheeks. "You look absolutely ravishing."

Clary did look beautiful, Raphael had to admit. She wore an emerald chiffon gown that fell to her ankles, complimenting her ivory skin and fiery red curls. Raphael remembered a time when he felt insanely jealous of the Shadowhunter girl, a time he even blamed Clary for him and Simon breaking up, but the wound his jealousy had inflicted healed years ago. Now, all Raphael felt towards Clary was indifference and perhaps...a little admiration. Even he couldn't deny the Nephilim girl's bravery and leadership skills.

"Quit flirting with my girlfriend, Magnus." Isabelle teased, sliding an arm around Clary's slender waist. _Well, that was an unexpected development_ , Raphael thought.

"Oh please, Clary is like a daughter to me. Besides, I'm happily sharing a bedroom with your brother where we engage in rather adept activities-"

"Okay! By the angel, we get it." Isabelle cried out, putting a hand up to stop him. Magnus looked very pleased with himself, and Raphael couldn't suppress his snort of laughter. He regretted it instantly when suddenly all eyes fixed on him.

" _Raphael_?" Clary gasped, her cheeks flushing a deep shade of pink. "I didn't know you were invited..."

"I wasn't." Raphael took another generous sip of his drink. "The warlock kidnapped me and forced me to be his date."

"That's an exaggeration." Magnus said, waving a dismissive hand in Raphael's direction. "Alexander is home taking care of our sick child, so I thought I'd take care of my _other_ child by supplying him with free booze and my delightful company. Don't give me that look, Santiago."

"I am _not_ your child," Raphael growled. Magnus mumbled something about moody teenagers, which Raphael chose to ignore. He met Clary's gaze, curious to find her frowning at him.

"I apologize if my presence here seems inappropriate. Magnus failed to mention exactly whose party this is." Raphael threw an icy glare in the warlock's direction.

"You didn't tell him?" Clary asked Magnus, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Oh, silly me!" Magnus exclaimed. He turned to Raphael. "I'm sorry, old friend. We're at Sherbert's engagement party."

" _Simon_!" Clary and Isabelle corrected at the same time. Magnus shrugged, clearly not caring. Raphael sat frozen in place, staring blindly ahead. Simon- _his_ Simon.

Engaged.

The room was suddenly spinning, and for a moment Raphael feared he was going to pass out. He could feel the stone exterior he had carefully rebuilt over the years begin to crack. He met Clary's worried gaze, realizing with a sharp pang in his chest she must have known about him and Simon. When they were together, they had kept it a secret, mostly because Raphael knew if Camille learned of their relationship she would use it against them. They were planning on coming out as a couple once Camille was dead, but that obviously didn't happen.

"Hey babe," Isabelle whispered in Clary's ear. "I see Maia, let's go say hi to her." Clary nodded and pecked Magnus on the cheek, throwing Raphael one more pitiful glance as Isabelle led her away.

Raphael stood up with abrupt force, almost knocking his drink over before catching it just in time with his vampire reflexes. Magnus frowned at him.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Home," Raphael answered without meeting his gaze. Magnus made a noise of protest, pleading for him to stay and have another drink, but Raphael wouldn't have it. He needed to get the hell out of there before he'd lose his composure entirely. Raphael mumbled an apology and started to leave, when suddenly he heard a voice that had haunted his mind for seven years say his name.

" _Raphael_?"

Simon was standing directly behind him, and Raphael had to will everything in his power to keep a straight face as he slowly turned around. Simon looked different in spite of having not aged a day, but there were little things Raphael noticed; a wisdom in his lustrous eyes, put there by witnessing the cruel truths and casualties of war. Simon's face had lost some of its boyish softness, his cheekbones more hollow and defined. If Raphael still had a pulse, he knew it would be racing as Simon looked him up and down, meeting his eyes with that damn crooked smile that made his knees go weak.

"I had no idea you were coming," Simon breathed. Raphael laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck.

"Neither did I," he said. When he saw Simon's look of confusion he quickly added, "Magnus invited me without telling me uh...the details." _Dios mio_. Simon nodded, glancing over Raphael once again.

"You look great!" he blurted out, and his cheeks pinked in that adorable way Raphael always loved.

"You don't look so bad yourself." Raphael smiled, and he swore Simon's eyes sparkled- or maybe he was only seeing the reflection of the string lights dangling from above.

"Were you just leaving?" Simon asked, and Raphael struggled to find the right response. "Because I'd love for you to stay."

"Um..." Raphael swallowed. "Okay."

"Great!" Simon exclaimed. "Please, help yourself to anything. I have to go make some rounds, but... maybe we can catch up at some later point tonight?" There was a hint of hope in Simon's voice, and Raphael tried to ignore the fluttering in his chest.

"I'd like that," he replied with a shy smile.

Simon visibly sighed in relief, reaching out and touching Raphael lightly on the arm before he walked away. Raphael stared after him, shocked and overcome by the storm of thoughts crashing together in his mind. Magnus, who had witnessed their entire encounter from where he sat a few feet away, let out a big " _ohhh…_ " Raphael squared his shoulders and took a few strides until he was sitting back down next to the warlock.

"Give me that," he growled, stealing Magnus's drink from his hands and draining it in one sip. Magnus pouted.

"First off, _rude._ And second, do...you...want to talk about it?" Magnus asked timidly. Throughout all the decades they'd known each other, Raphael had never confided in Magnus anything about his personal life.

"No, just keep the drinks coming." Magnus waved over a server carrying a tray with glasses of champagne.

"That my friend, I can surely do."

 **To be continued...**

* * *

This piece turned out to be a lot longer than I expected, so I will be releasing a part two very soon! Expect some drunk Magnus/Raphael dancing, a little Clizzy action, and of course...LOTS OF SAPHAEL xx

If you have a moment, please leave a review =) Thanks for reading!


	4. An Unexpected Guest (Part Two)

Hello darlings =) This is part two of my previous chapter "An Unexpected Guest," a one shot that ended up turning into a three part fic, oops!

I hope you like it xx

* * *

Raphael had nearly downed his fifth glass of champagne when the band started to play "I'm Gonna Live Till I Die," one of his absolute favorite Sinatra songs. He was already beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol buzzing in his veins, pleasurably warming his body in all the right places. By Raphael's third glass, the distress he was feeling from his brief encounter with Simon had gradually subsided, replaced with a rush of drunken giddiness. Raphael hadn't felt this free in decades.

"Care to dance, Santiago?" Magnus, who was arguably more intoxicated than Raphael considering he'd just finished his _seventh_ cocktail, asked with a sly smile.

Raphael hesitated. He wanted to dance, God knows how many years it'd been since he indulged himself, and he _did_ have a weak spot for Sinatra...But as tipsy as he may be, Raphael was still very much aware of the fact they were at Simon's engagement party. Magnus poked his arm.

"Come on _Tappin Toes_ ," he teased knowingly. Raphael's jaw dropped. "That's right. Ragnor told me about your famous little nickname back in the 60's. He said you were quite the dancer."

" _Traitor_ ," Raphael muttered bitterly. Magnus giggled and rose from his chair, holding out his hand with extra theatrical flourish.

"Time to break out the old moves, Tappin Toes."

Raphael rolled his eyes, downed the rest of his champagne, and let Magnus drag him onto the dance floor.

They were surrounded by other couples laughing and twirling each other around, mostly mundanes to Raphael's surprise. He didn't recall Simon ever mentioning how big of an extended family he had, and then it hit him. Most of the guests must have been Simon's fiance's family and friends. Before Raphael could think more about Simon's mysterious fiance, the song ended, and the band began to play a fast and catchy jive. Raphael smiled, the familiar music evoking memories of a different era, rousing him to tap his feet along with the contagious beat.

 _Fuck it,_ Raphael thought, and skillfully did a chasse step to the side. Magnus clapped his hands in triumph, and let out a _whoop_ of surprise when Raphael spun him around, dipping him in one fluid motion.

"By God," Magnus breathed and stared up at Raphael's face in awe. "Ragnor really wasn't joking when he said you could move." Raphael chuckled, pulling Magnus back up into a standing position.

"Let's hope you can keep up, _warlock_."

Magnus smirked and did a perfect pirouette, landing gracefully on his feet. "I've been doing this centuries before you were even born. Bring it, _vampire_." Magnus's feline eyes twinkled playfully.

Only a few minutes later, an entire crowd had formed a circle around them, watching Raphael and Magnus have an intense alcohol-fueled dance off until Magnus swayed, nearly tripping over his feet. "Yeah...I should probably sit down before I get strawberry daiquiri all over the floor."

Raphael laughed, swinging a supportive arm around his companion's waist while they received a lively round of applause. The crowd then dispersed, returning to the party. Magnus dangled his arm over Raphael's shoulders and belched loudly.

"When Alexander told me to have fun tonight, I don't think he meant get totally trashed and do the charleston," Magnus giggled as Raphael guided him over to a nearby chair. He suddenly looked up at Raphael in all seriousness, patting his cheek affectionately. "Hey Raph, do you think I'm a bad father?"

" _Jesucristo_..." Raphael murmured under his breath. Fortunately, before he could muster up some kind of response, Clary and Isabelle appeared at his side.

"I got this," Isabelle said to Raphael. She gave him a quick, appreciative smile before helping Magnus onto his feet. "Come on _cuñado_ , let's get you home."

"I'm fineee," Magnus slurred. "I can just portal myself." Isabelle snorted with laughter.

"And end up on top of some pyramid in Egypt? I don't think so." Clary stepped forward to help, but Isabelle stopped her. "It's fine, babe. I have this under control."

"Are you sure? I really don't mind-

" _Clary_ ," Isabelle interrupted with a fond look in her eyes Raphael assumed was saved only for her girlfriend. "I want you to enjoy yourself and anyway, you're Simon's best friend. It would be pretty rude to leave his engagement party early, don't you think?"

"I suppose you're right," Clary sighed. Isabelle smirked, and leaned over to kiss Clary on the mouth. Raphael glanced away.

"I'm always right," Isabelle murmured against her lips.

"Get a room you two," Magnus grumbled. Clary and Isabelle laughed, sneaking in one more kiss before they pulled away.

"Alright Magnus, time to return you to my brother," Isabelle said in a loving tone. Raphael quickly pulled his wallet out from his back pocket, handing Isabelle some cash.

"For the cab," he explained. Isabelle flashed him a grateful smile, tucking the money slyly into her bra.

"Thanks Raphael," she said. Raphael nodded, a hint of a smile teasing his lips. "I'll get him home in one piece, I promise."

"Bye, Tappin Toes!" Magnus called over his shoulder as Isabelle practically had to carry him away.

Raphael chuckled to himself, shaking his head. _Of course he'd last longer than the warlock_. It took a few moments before Raphael realized Clary was still standing beside him. She was watching him curiously, her thin eyebrows creased in a frown. An awkward silence settled between them, until Clary drew in a sharp breath-

"So, how have you been in the past...five years?" she asked, uncertain.

"Seven," Raphael corrected her with an amused smile.

"Has it really been that long?" Clary laughed, her cheeks flaming. Raphael shrugged, sliding his hands into his trouser pockets.

"Time is different for us vampires, less...valuable. When you're immortal, years and decades fade into each other and what may feel like seven years to a mundane, is only a blink of an eye for someone like me." Raphael suddenly spotted Simon across the room standing beside a petite woman with long wavy auburn hair, and shimmering blue-green eyes.

"But there's these moments," Raphael continued, his gaze still locked on the couple. "When you feel the weight of time, and how things can change in only a matter of years or just... disappear." Raphael swallowed hard. "And you understand why mortals always say 'time is precious', because there's so much you can lose."

Raphael didn't mean to talk that much, especially around _Clary_ of all people. Perhaps it was the alcohol coaxing words to slip from his mouth, or the sight of Simon's arm wrapped around his finance's waist as they chatted amicably with their guests. Raphael's heart ached painfully, and he nearly bared his fangs when Clary startled him by placing a hand on his arm.

"Her name is Allison," she said softly, following Raphael's gaze. "She's an artist." Raphael nodded, trying his best to look indifferent. He'd already shown enough weakness for one night. "Ali designed this whole party, you know." Clary glanced up at the string lights twinkling above, smiling.

"She sounds impressive," Raphael said a bit too sourly. He could feel Clary's eyes on his face as he watched Allison laugh hysterically at one of Simon's jokes. _That should be me_ , Raphael thought suddenly.

"She is," Clary replied. "And she's kind, funny, and probably the most genuine person I know." Raphael sighed, wanting very much for this conversation to end. He was about to make up some excuse to leave, when suddenly Clary said his name with an urgency that made Raphael stop and look at her.

"Don't get me wrong, Allison is wonderful but…" Clary inhaled deeply. "I don't think Simon really thought this through."

"You mean because she's human," Raphael said matter-of-factly.

"No- I mean that too, but it's more complicated than you think." Raphael arched one brow, leaning closer. Clary had his full attention now. Raphael noticed the way she worried at her bottom lip, twirling an orange ringlet mindlessly around her finger. "Simon only met Allison a few months ago. She has the Sight," Clary dropped her voice to a whisper, "and also a sort of... _fixation_ with the Shadow World."

"A fixation," Raphael repeated.

"That's what her art is all about," Clary explained. Her eyes darted around the room anxiously before returning to Raphael's face. "Allison came into Simon's life during a time when he was feeling very alone, and lost." The thought of Simon hurting sent a sharp pang through Raphael, and he silently cursed at himself for being so weak. "I think the reason why Simon fell for her so fast was because she saw him for what he was right away, and accepted him without hesitation."

"Why are you telling me this?" Raphael asked wearily.

"Because I…" Clary sighed. "I don't think Simon is marrying her for the right reasons."

Clary stared deeply into Raphael's eyes, willing him to understand what she was trying to say. Raphael couldn't think of any words to express the turbulence of emotions he was feeling. Clary squeezed his arm, giving him an encouraging smile before she left his side and walked away. Raphael's mind was racing, memories of Simon lying beneath him clouding his vision. But there was one memory that stood out in particular...

 _Simon moaned loudly as Raphael brought him to his climax, wrapping his arms tightly around Raphael's back and holding him close. Raphael laughed, and began to press warm needy kisses all over his face and down his neck. Simon let out a blissful sigh._

" _I never want to leave this bed," he said. Raphael propped himself up on his elbows, smiling down at Simon._

" _That good, huh?" he teased. Simon rolled his eyes, running his fingers gently up and down Raphael's sides._

" _I'm serious," he whispered. "I want you all the time, so much it scares me a little. Whenever you're not there, it's like a part of myself is missing, and I...I feel empty inside."_

 _Raphael leaned down and kissed Simon softly on the lips, breathing in his comforting scent of evergreen soap and laundry detergent._

" _I told you once I used to believe I was incapable of loving another," Raphael said. "But then you came along, and my whole world was turned upside down. I fell in love the first moment I laid eyes on you, Simon Lewis."_

" _You mean when you kidnapped me?" Simon asked, raising one eyebrow. Raphael laughed, tracing his fingers along Simon's cheek._

" _I never said our love story was perfect_ ," _he replied cheekily. Simon hummed in response, staring up into his eyes with a tenderness that made Raphael ache all over._

" _Touch me," he breathed. Raphael began to slide his hand southwards, grinning when Simon shivered in delight._

" _Your wish is my command."_

"Alright everyone, I think it's time to invite the 'bride and groom to be' onto the dance floor!"

Raphael blinked as he was suddenly pulled back to the present. The room whistled and cheered as Simon and Alison walked over to their respective positions, laughing. The band eased into a slow, and romantic song. Raphael watched with a bitter taste in his mouth the couple sway in each other's arms, while the room clapped and "awed" at them adoringly.

 _What am I doing here?_ Raphael thought, his knuckles straining white as he balled his fists at his sides. He decided he was going to leave, when suddenly Simon met his gaze and their eyes held. The cheerful smile Simon had been wearing all night vanished when he saw Raphael's pained expression. Was he remembering too? Raphael wondered. All the secret smiles exchanged during clan meetings...whispered conversations in the quiet breaths before dawn...nights spent tangled beneath the sheets as they sought one another's pleasure over and over again...

Simon didn't take his eyes off Raphael until Alison whispered something in his ear and he laughed, twirling her away from him before taking her back into his arms. The crowd erupted into applause and Raphael finally had enough, turning around and walking out the door.

* * *

Raphael inhaled the cool midnight air, and made his way slowly over to a bench sitting right near the water. Raphael slumped down, dropping his head into his hands. The alcohol was beginning to wear off, and the pleasant buzz he'd been feeling had faded away. Raphael pressed his hand firmly against his heart, trying to ease the sharp burning pain.

Seven years. Seven years he'd wasted, locking himself away in the Hotel Dumort while the love of his life slipped from his fingertips forever. Raphael angrily rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill down. " _Stop it_ ," he growled. He was Raphael Santiago, leader of the New York vampire clan. His heart should be stone, unbreakable. Yet here he was, about to fall apart at his ex lover's engagement party.

"Raphael?"

He hadn't noticed Simon approaching him, too preoccupied with trying to calm himself down. Raphael quickly stood up, throwing on his cool facade before turning to face Simon, who was staring at him with those doe brown eyes that made Raphael's heart cave in.

"I thought you'd left," Simon chuckled nervously. Raphael kicked a pebble beneath his feet, watching it plop into the water.

"Nope," he replied absently. Simon took a step closer and Raphael caught a whiff of his familiar clean scent, but also a hint of women's perfume. Allison's perfume.

"I'm glad you're here," Simon said. "I hoped that we would've run into each other over the years...but I guess that didn't happen." Raphael sighed.

"I don't go out much anymore, not since…" he trailed off, biting his lip. Simon drew in a sharp breath.

"Raphael-

"It's okay Simon," Raphael interrupted gently. "You don't have to say anything." Simon moved closer and Raphael tensed, wishing to God he'd keep his distance.

"It's not okay!" Simon continued with surprising passion. "I should never have just walked away from you like that. I-I could at least have said goodbye."

"Simon…" Raphael started, but it was clear Simon wasn't finished.

"I wanted to come back," he said. "But I...I was too afraid. I knew I hurt you, and I couldn't bear to see your face. I was a coward Raphael, and I'm so sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Raphael assured. "That was seven years ago, and we were both in...difficult situations. It was inevitable really."

Simon studied Raphael's face with an intensity that reminded Raphael of the night he Turned, gorging himself on blood while their eyes remained fastened on one another. Raphael remembered seeing hatred in that gaze but also trust, one that was forged long before they even met.

"I was still a boy then," Simon's voice softened. "I didn't know what I wanted, and...and what we had scared the shit out of me. _It was too much,_ Raphael." Simon let out an empty laugh, dragging his hands roughly over his face. "So I did exactly what a boy does when he's afraid, and I left."

Raphael gazed over at the Brooklyn Bridge, the lights casting a mysterious blue sheen over the water's surface. A mermaid suddenly sprang from the water, her melodic laughter reminding Raphael of windchimes. She waved at him, before vanishing back into the murky depths below. Raphael drew in a shaky breath, meeting Simon's pleading eyes.

"What do you want me to say, Simon?" Raphael asked tiredly. "I forgive you? Fine, I forgive you for walking out on us. I forgive you for dating Isabelle Lightwood three weeks after we broke up. I forgive you for never reaching out to me in the seven years we've been apart." Raphael stopped himself, taking a deep breath. He hadn't expected to be so angry with Simon, but he supposed he had a lot of pent up rage buried inside him over the years.

Simon looked like a mess, the terrible sadness in his eyes making Raphael feel sick with guilt. _No mi hijo,_ his mother's voice whispered in the back of his mind, _you are allowed to be upset_. They stared at each other in silence for a while, lost in memory and time. Suddenly, Simon reached out and took Raphael's hand in his own.

"I remember when you saved me from that demon in the Mortal War. I thought I was going to die right there and then. In a way, I almost wanted to." Raphael shut his eyes, Simon's words piercing through him like a knife. "When that demon came towards me about to eat me alive, I...I saw your face, Raphael. And all I could think in that moment was how much I wanted to be in your arms again, just one last time."

Raphael felt his eyes sting with tears and he glanced away, willing everything in his power to keep himself together. Simon gave his hand a firm squeeze.

"Look at me," he whispered. Raphael's body trembled all over, and he had to take several unnecessary breaths before his eyes returned to Simon's face. They were standing very close now, close enough to kiss. "For a moment, I thought I was already dead when I saw you fight that demon. I prayed for you Raphael, and you came. You saved me."

Raphael cupped the back of his neck, touching their foreheads together.

"I'll always save you," he whispered. Simon wrapped his arms around Raphael, muffling a choked sob into his shoulder. Raphael held him tight, savoring every second of having Simon in his arms. Simon's body shook as he cried, and Raphael whispered soothing words in his ear, stroking those curls he had longed to touch for so many years.

He didn't know who pulled away first, but suddenly they were kissing. It started out slow, almost questioning, until Simon moaned and pulled Raphael against him. Their kiss was fire and ice, thunder and lightning as they clutched onto each other desperately. They drank in each other's breaths like they'd been drowning for seven years, and finally were coming up for air. Raphael kissed Simon's bloody tears away, murmuring sweet nothings in Spanish against his lips.

" _Raphael_ ," Simon sighed into his mouth. "I love you."

Raphael froze. He pulled away from Simon, backing up several steps.

"What are you doing?" he cried out, shaking his head. "We're at your _engagement party_ , Simon."

Simon swore, wiping his mouth. He looked horrified, his hands trembling as he tried to smooth down his dishevelled hair.

"I don't know," Simon said in a strained voice. "I love Allison, but...then _you_ showed up, and now I'm- I'm confused!"

"If you're so confused, maybe you shouldn't marry her."

Simon opened his mouth as if to say something in his defense, but nothing came. He shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Jesus Raphael, I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this."

But when Simon opened his eyes, Raphael was already gone.

* * *

I know, the ANGST! But I think you'll like part three…which I shall post in the near future xo

If you have a moment, please leave a review =) I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	5. Part Three

_Hey guys! I want to apologize for updating so late. I'd been struggling with some pretty bad depression and anxiety this past month, which made it difficult to find the motivation to write. Sometimes I just get in these slumps, and have to wait till I feel like myself again. Thank you for being patient with me xx_

 _I hope you like it!_

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It was nearly three o'clock in the morning by the time Raphael finally arrived back at the Hotel Dumort. He'd been walking aimlessly around Brooklyn for hours, letting his gaze wander from rows of restaurants of every cuisines, to nightclubs pulsing underground, their flashing neon lights dying the streets hues of pink, blue, and green. He'd wanted to get lost.

Some of the clan were sprawled about the hotel's glamorous lobby, laughing and nursing bloody cocktails while jazz played softly out of an old dusty Victrola. Raphael stormed past them without a word, ignoring the curious glances in his wake.

Raphael flung the shiny gold doors of his master bedroom wide open, liking the way they slammed shut behind him. He stripped off his suit, walking over to the bathroom in nothing but his briefs. Raphael turned on the shower, and waited till the water was scalding hot. Closing his eyes, Raphael stepped inside and engulfed a cloud of steam, trying to push the image of Simon's stormy eyes and quivering soft lips out of his mind. Raphael squeezed a generous amount of soap into his hand, and proceeded to scrub away the scent of Simon that still lingered on his skin.

 _I love you_.

Raphael gritted his teeth, knowing Simon only said it out of impulse. A thoughtless slip up in the heat of the moment. "He doesn't love you," Raphael told himself. "He's just confused." Raphael wanted to scream, but that would only bring unwanted attention. So instead, he slammed his fist into the shower wall. Raphael welcomed the pain, watching the water circling the drain slowly turn pink with dark satisfaction.

After drying himself off, Raphael threw on a pair of grey sweatpants. The waistband hung low off his hips, revealing the sharp muscular V of his torso. Raphael collapsed onto his bed with a weary sigh, closing his eyes and trying to surrender himself to sleep, when suddenly he heard a familiar knock on his door.

Out of the corner of his eye, Raphael recognized Lily's slight frame slip soundlessly into his room. She closed the door much quieter, and with a lot more grace than Raphael did before. Raphael sat up on the edge of his bed, running a hand roughly through his damp curls. Lily eased down beside him, tracing soothing circles on his back.

"You saw him, didn't you? _Simon._ "

Lily didn't bother hiding the contempt in her voice for Raphael's ex-boyfriend. She never liked him, even when Simon lived at the Dumort. Lily sensed his divided loyalty from the start, as well as Raphael's feelings. Lily was clever. Almost too clever for her own good.

Raphael nodded, and Lily rested her head of bright blue hair on his shoulder.

"He's engaged," Raphael whispered. "To a mundane." Lily sat up fast, throwing Raphael an incredulous look.

"You're joking."

"I wish," Raphael laughed darkly. " _Dios_ , I wish I was." Lily's expression softened, her dark kohl eyes filled with concern.

"I'm so sorry, Raphael."

She curled her slender arm around his waist, nuzzling her face in the crook of his neck. Raphael sighed, resting his head on top of hers, and breathed in Lily's familiar scent of cigarettes and exotic perfume. Lily was one of the few individuals Raphael could let his guard down with. They'd known each other since Raphael was still a fledgling, unhinged and full of self-loathing. Lily had taught Raphael how to embrace his nature. She was more than just a close friend. She was Raphael's family.

Raphael was about to tell Lily how he kissed Simon, and the way they held each other tighter with every passing second as if clinging to some feverish dream, when suddenly a loud commotion was heard coming from the hotel's lobby. The sound of multiple voices yelling and angrily hissing grew louder as the turbulence advanced towards the penthouse. Raphael winced at the splitting sound of broken glass.

"What in God's name…" Lily muttered under her breath, already making her way over to the door. Raphael growled, quickly throwing on a simple white t-shirt. He was practically seething when he stormed into the penthouse lounge, feeling quite ready to murder someone, until Raphael saw Simon standing in the center of the room arguing passionately with a faction of his clan. Simon seemed to sense his presence, because suddenly he turned and met Raphael's gaze. He pushed his way through the blockade of vampires until he stood only a few feet away from Raphael.

"I need to talk to you," Simon said, determined.

Raphael studied him for a moment, noticing his wild fiery eyes and the slight tremor in his hands. The leader of the New York vampire clan gestured for the room to be cleared, and the clan obeyed. Except for Lily. She was staring at Raphael intensely, disapproval written all over her face. Raphael nodded at her once, firmly. Lily sighed in defeat, glaring at Simon the whole time as she strutted out of the room, leaving both men staring at each other in the loudest silence Raphael had ever endured.

"What are you doing here, Simon?" Raphael finally asked.

Simon stepped forward-Raphael threw him a warning look- he backed up, putting a generous amount of space between them.

"I came to apologize, and explain."

"Simon-

"Allison wanted me to Turn her!" Simon blurted out. "But I just- I couldn't do it. Every day, I think about what I lost when I became a vampire. My future, my family-" Simon paused to collect himself, and Raphael felt betrayed by his own body for wanting to touch him. "I would never want that for Allison, or for anyone. So, I...I proposed instead. I was afraid she'd leave me."

"Because you love her," Raphael sighed, feeling his heart sink into the pit of his stomach.

"Yes, but that's not the only reason why I didn't Turn her." Simon carefully took a step closer. "I didn't want to be bound to Allison forever. I know, it sounds horrible-

"Simon," Raphael firmly interrupted. "Why are you here? You should be with your fiancé right now."

"She's not my fiancé," Simon exhaled shakily. "Not anymore."

" _What_?" Raphael whispered.

"I called it off," Simon continued with more conviction. "I wasn't marrying Allison because I love her. I was marrying her for myself. Allison doesn't deserve to be lied to, or used. All because I'm terrified of being alone. I was so lost, Raphael. It was like...it was like a part of my soul died." Simon angrily wiped away a bloody tear. "Ever since I walked out that door. Ever since I left _you._ " Simon's voice broke. Raphael shut his eyes. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, and I understand if you want nothing to do with me anymore. I've mistreated you, and disrespected you-

"Simon, please..."

"I love you," Simon said with absolute clarity. "I've always loved you, and I don't care if it takes me centuries to win your heart back. I'll never stop trying."

Raphael struggled to find the right words. He'd waited so long for this, he feared for a moment he might be dreaming, that he'd suddenly wake up to find none of this was real, crying out for Simon in the dark.

"You have my heart, Simon," Raphael breathed. "Even after all these years, I never stopped loving you. God knows, I tried." The muscles in Raphael's jaw twitched. "I was so angry, so... _broken_. That night after you left, I killed Camille and all her fledglings. Even the ones who surrendered. I wanted so badly to give into the darkness, to turn my heart into stone but I…I couldn't." Raphael's voice softened. "You've haunted me, Simon. You said earlier tonight what we had scared you. Well it _terrified_ me, because I knew somehow...somehow you'd end up breaking my heart."

"What can I do, Raphael?" Simon pleaded. "What can I do to make things right?"

Raphael was quiet for a long time, thinking. Seven years he'd remained in his castle, a fallen king, while the rest of the world moved on without him. For seven years, Raphael tried to fill the gaping hole in his heart with vice and bloodshed, politics and God. But no matter how hard Raphael prayed, he was never able to find his former self again.

He couldn't escape the memories of Simon; like his rare surprised smiles whenever Raphael cracked a joke, (which wasn't often), or made the occasional Batman reference...lying in a tangle of limbs beneath cool sheets, whispering about their wildest dreams and worst fears... Simon questioning Raphael's decisions at clan meetings... heated arguments turning into heated lovemaking...a mundane boy with stupid glasses and beautiful full lips rambling nervously after throwing a knife at Raphael's chest.

Simon had missed his heart only by a few inches. _Oh, the irony of it all_.

Raphael crossed his arms, and met Simon's gaze levelly with his own. "Pledge your loyalty to me. Come back to the Dumort, to your family. Earn the clan's trust and respect again."

Simon fell onto his knees before him. Raphael felt a dangerous thrill at such a powerful, sensual display of submission.

"I pledge myself to you, Raphael Santiago. On my honor, I swear to you my loyalty and my life if need be."

Raphael plucked a dagger off the wall. Ancient runes were etched into the finely crafted handle. Simon watched Raphael the whole time, his adam's apple bobbing up and down nervously as he swallowed in anticipation.

Raphael unsheathed the blade, and Simon flinched. He was still on his knees, gazing up at Raphael wide-eyed and afraid. "Give me your hand," Raphael instructed. Simon eyed the dagger wearily before stretching out his hand, palm facing up. Raphael handed Simon the dagger, which gleamed beautifully in the dusky gold lighting.

Something shifted in the air. An old nameless magic, called forth by the ancient ritual both men were about to perform. Simon's expression of surprise turned into understanding. Raphael watched him grimace as he dragged the blade across his palm, making a deep gash. Their eyes remained locked on one another, the heated tension between them growing more unbearable with every second.

It was now Raphael's turn. Gently, he pried the dagger from Simon's fingers and without flinching, sliced open the palm of his own hand. Blood dripped off the knife and onto the floor in ruby pools.

"I accept your pledge," Raphael said, his eyes dancing. He clasped Simon's wounded hand, pressing their cuts together. They were bound now, sworn to each other by honor and blood. Raphael pulled Simon onto his feet. They made quite a pair; Raphael, as stately as a king in casual sweatpants and barefeet. Simon, dishevelled and terribly handsome, staring at the other man in awe.

"Welcome home," Raphael smiled. Simon let out a breathy laugh, recognizing the familiar words. "Come here."

Simon grinned wide, cradling Raphael's face in his hands before pressing their lips softly together. Raphael twined his fingers in Simon's curls, kissing him back deeply. Their lips moved as one, slow and dizzying. Raphael couldn't believe it. This was Simon. The light to Raphael's darkness, the missing half of Raphael's damned soul. They were both damned, shadows of the boys they once were, but not lost.

Raphael slowly roamed his hands over Simon's back and shoulders, remembering how the muscles used to feel under his touch. Simon kissed down his jawline, tracing his fingers over Raphael's exposed midriff. Raphael sighed blissfully, leaning into his touch. A fire burned within Raphael wanting to consume, or be consumed. After seven years, he finally felt awake.

Raphael then pulled away from Simon, and reached out his hand. "Come," he whispered. Simon interlaced their fingers together and grinned from ear to ear, letting Raphael guide him into the bedroom.

* * *

*sniffles* they're so beautiful! I wanted to end it here out of respect to any reader who hc Raphael as asexual, and therefore don't feel comfortable reading any Saphael smut. The last thing I want is to offend, or make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Nonetheless, there WILL be an extended scene that's explicit. So for all my smut queens, stay tuned =) Thanks for reading! If you have a moment, leave a review! I'd love to hear your thoughts xx


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